All a-buzz for my fellow bees!

Having been a waiting lady, pre-occupied with pre-planning, I've logged a lot of hours over the past 6 months or so, perusing the immense, extensive, and highly detailed amount of wedding planning information on the internet.

I'd known about The Knot for quite some time, pretty much ever since my first childhood friend got married around 6 years ago.  I'd visit there occasionally over the years, just for fun, or when I needed to consult the gift registries of various friends, but I never really spent a lot of time there.  The information and pictures seemed to remain pretty much the same over time.  I needed more to sate my wedding appetite!

As a total newbie, I figured there must be some good wedding blogs out there.  Simple google searches led me to Green Wedding Shoes and Style Me Pretty among many others.  Just by chance, I clicked on a link to Weddingbee and there I found not only an imformative and fun blog full of posts from all sorts of women, but also an incredibly active message board community.  Jackpot!

I'm a self-proclaimed internet junkie, and I love getting involved in online forums.  This awesome "hive" of Bees seemed like a great place to get involved.  As I lurked for a while at first, I saw evidence of the community of posters, sharing ideas and thoughts, helping each other through hard decisions and celebrating with each other.  I figured I would wait to register an account until I was "officially" planning a wedding...no one would take me seriously as a gal without a ring.  What could I possibly add to the community without being engaged and planning?

It was there that I was very wrong.  Weddingbee has a place just for girls like me - it's their Waiting board.  A location specifically designed for women who aren't engaged yet, but have caught the wedding bug, or are maybe just looking for a little support.  There's a great deal of anxiety, self-doubt, and frustration that comes with this territory, and the Waiting board is a great antidote to the insanity.  I'd grown embarrassed about bitching and whining to my close friends and family.  They wanted me to shut up about it, I wanted to shut up about it, but the word vomit just wouldn't stop.  The Waiting board has given me, and many other women a place to come, and under the veil of internet anonymity spill their guts and vent. 

Every weekend, I look forward to seeing if any of my fellow Waitng Bees get engaged.  I smile at their romantic proposal stories, and even tear up from time to time.  I feel genuinely happy when these strangers that I have never and probably will never meet finally get to say they are engaged to the man of their dreams.

Most of all, it's just nice to know that I'm not crazy - that other women feel this way too.  It's not something society really "accepts" per se, so I am very thankful to know that I have a place to go that helps to ease my waiting blues.

waiting for the moon to come and light me up inside...

As a 29 year old female, I have found myself firmly lodged in the time of my life where lots is happening - both for me and those around me.  It seems like everywhere I look there are engagements being announced, new wedding pictures, or a scan of a sonogram.  Granted, my semi-obsessive Facebook habit facilitates this.  When in history have we ever been able to be so in tune with the lives of people we barely know?

Right now, I find myself obsessed with weddings, and well, with love in general.  I'm helping my younger sister plan her wedding.  I'm starting to casually pre-plan my own as well.  Thinking and daydreaming about colors and flowers and dress styles as well as song playlists and menu choices.  I read wedding blogs, post on wedding related message boards and watch wedding programs on TV.

There's only one problem.

I'm not engaged.

That's right - I am a Lady in Waiting.  I have been with my boyfriend, G, for almost two and a half years.  We've lived together, shared our lives, and talked about our future together.  We intend to get married, but he hasn't popped the question yet.  I know it's coming, he has assured me of this, and all that's left for me to do is to attempt to be patient, carry on with my life, and keep otherwise occupied.

Easier said than done.

Many women can tell you about this feeling - knowing you have found the one you want to spend your life with, and yet having to "wait" to start truly planning the beginning of that life.  Due to dictates of society, the ball is often in the mans court when it comes to the proposal of marriage.  It makes sense to a certain degree - so often, women take the helm in planning the wedding and making all those decisions.  The proposal is the one wedding related area where a man can have complete creative control of the situation.

G, as progressive as he is in many areas, is very traditional when it comes to all this proposal stuff.  In one of my less-than-patient moments, when I tried to get some information out of him over the summer, he revealed to me that he really wants his proposal to be a surprise.  In his words "I believe that every woman should have a great story to tell about the day they got engaged."  Well, that statement certainly helped me quiet down.  I am a feminist, and I like to consider myself to be pretty empowered as a woman, but I'm not going to lie - the thought of my guy planning something memorable makes me smile and makes the waiting a little easier.

So here I am.  I've been "officially" waiting since about this time last year.  G and I have discussed everything, and all systems are go...but yet, I am still waiting.

Let me be completely honest for a minute here - it's driving me nuts.

Everyone around me is telling me to calm down, be patient, and stop obsessing.  It's pretty much impossible.  And frankly, I don't think I should have to stop obsessing about it.  I've found the love of my life, and I can't wait to declare that to the world and officially begin our lives together.

I haven't booked a venue or bought a dress or picked a date or anything like that.  What I have done is started some constructive daydreaming about what I would like our wedding to be.  Some pre-planning, if you will.  I've found a pretty supportive message board of other women in the same position as me, and through communicating with them and pre-planning, I find that my wait has been made much easier.

I hope that this blog will be a place for me to share what I have found in my pre-planning, to post inspiration pictures and probably a vent or two and hopefully, to sooner as opposed to later turn into a real wedding planning blog.  I'm super excited about this time in my life, and I think it would be pretty cool to be able to look back and see how everything played out.

So there you have it...I'm a waiting gal, but I'm otherwise engaged with pre-planning, daydreaming, and working to make every day count.

hello!

Hello world!  I'm Miss R

On a summer night in 2008, my world was turned upside down.  I met a boy whose kisses made me tingle to my toes.  I had never believed that a fairy tale romance could happen to me until he swept me off my feet.

Now I dream about the future...